A shift in the breadwinners

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Men have traditionally been seen as the breadwinners earning more than their wives and partners. Now the tables have turned with 22 per cent of women now bringing home the bigger salary and this number is growing.

More Australian women than ever are bringing home the majority of the bacon and many of their husbands and partners are happy about it.

Two years ago Debra Jacobs was a full-time mum, cooking dinner for five kids was a daily chore. So she came up with the idea of 'Meal Magic', selling home cooked meals to busy people.

"My husband has worked really, really hard most of his life and I don't see why I can't step up and we can share the responsibility and move forward as a good unit," Debra said.

"It's become really successful the word of mouth message has really got out there."

But that success was a little harder for husband Arnold to swallow.

"The wife going to work it was unheard of. I was apprehensive, I felt I was, probably, I'd say going backwards in the role of being a breadwinner," Arnold said.

Psychotherapist Jackie Furey says men are programmed to be providers.

"You see for a lot of men, they are told from a very young age that their value comes from how much they earn and the difference they can make when they get to the top of the tree," Jackie said.

"It can be a bash to the ego when 'sisters are doing it for themselves'. A lot of men still equate being able to provide well for their family as showing how much they love them and how much they can look after them."

Trudy Gilbert is the founder and Managing Director of an exclusive dating agency 'Elite Introductions'. Business is booming keeping Trudy in the office longer and leaving her husband Phil to carry more of the load at home.

"The business has grown significantly and we're at the point now, depending on the months, I earn double what Phil brings home," Trudy said.

"From when we got married Phil has always been a bit more domesticated than I have in terms of cleaning and cooking."

No wonder Trudy is a professional match maker, she has Australia's best husband but don't be fooled, Phil works as a sales manager and will never be a kept man.

And here's something else to confuse the blokes. The girls might bring home the bacon but they still want you to bring home the roses.

"Just because I am a higher income earner doesn't mean I don't want to be treated like a lady, I mean romance and chivalry is important in all relationships," Trudy said.

"When women are saying I really want him to pay for dinner sometimes or I want him to open the door or show initiative in terms of taking the lead what they are really saying is I want him to take control sometimes," Jackie Furey added.

Back at the Jacobs household Arnold is taking control of the kids lunches before he goes to work.

"I think a lot of guys these days when they are put in the position where they are looking after the children whether it's a partial or complete role reversal learn to appreciate that bonding. You're not just in and out at the end of the day and barely see them" adds Debra.

"We take it for granted that children are the most important thing to women but often we don't give credit to the fact they are to men as well" says Jackie Furey.

Tania Stickler was tired of working long hours for little reward so she ditched her job in a leather factory and started an online education business from home.

Tania and husband Lee, a cabinet maker used to earn $70,000 between them, now Tania has tripled her income and Lee couldn't be happier.

"She's definitely become the breadwinner of the family, whether you like that term or not she earns more than I do," Lee said.

The experts say the secret is not who makes what but what you make of it together.

"It's more about a partnership it's not about one being better than the other," Trudy said.

Trudy Gilbert's Dating Service - Elite introductions
Website: www.eliteintroductions.com.au
Tel: (02) 8249 8370

Debra Jacobs Meal service - Meal Magic
Website: www.mealmagic.com.au
Tel: (03) 9572 4034

Jackie Furey – psychologist
South Pacific Private Hospital
Website: www.spph.com.au
Tel: 1800 063 332

Women's Network
Website: www.womensnetwork.com.au